Wordiness
"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell."1
To write concisely, you need to be unafraid to delete. If your text is very wordy, you may end up deleting half a sentence or even half a paragraph. This is normal. Everyone struggles with wordiness. Concise writers are writers who have deleted much of what they originally wrote.
"My research shows that conciseness is interpreted as intelligence. So, thank you."
So how do you simplify your structure and cut unnecessary and redundant words?
1. Get back to Subject-Verb-Object structure.
First, simplify the structure. Make one main sentence rather than three sub-sentences.
2. Cut empty phrases, nuance if necessary with a verb or modal verb.
In empty phrases, the words don't refer to anything. A prime example is
It is important that...
Here, the structure is the giveaway: it refers to nothing-- it's a placeholder-- and is is an empty verb.
Remove the following phrases:
- It is important that
- It is essential that
- It is necessary that
- It is a fact that
- It is believed that
- It is clear that
- It is emphasized that
- It is known that
Also remove empty references to past studies. Instead, just add a reference at the end:
- It has been reported that
- Previous studies have shown that
- Research has found that
- Some studies have suggested that
If necessary, nuance the sentence with modal verbs like may, might, could, should, or must. Or use other verbs like need.
Researchers must conduct thorough experiments to ensure accurate results.
The treatment must be given promptly.
You can also remove empty subjects and empty verbs:
- there is/are/was/were
- it is/was
| Wordy | Concise |
|---|---|
| There is a need for | must, should |
| There is a chance that | could, may, might |
| It could happen that | could, may, might |
3. Cut vague or ambiguous words, reader-stopper words, and wordy expressions.
Vague words don't add any specific meaning, like:
- arguably
- needless to say
- recent
- significant (unless it refers to a statistical difference)
Reader-stopper words force the reader to stop reading, go back up, re-read, and restructure the sentence in order to understand:
- aforementioned
- respectively
- former/ latter
You can remove these reader-stopper words with parallelism:
Units A, B, and C had 8mL, 10mL and 12mL left,
Unit A had 8mL left, unit B 10mL and unit C 12mL.
You can replace many wordy expressions with shorter alternatives:
Because the budget is limited, we cannot proceed with the project.
Use the list below to help you recognize common wordy expressions:
| Wordy | Concise |
|---|---|
| a lot of | many |
| a number of | some, many |
| a small number of | few |
| along the lines of | like |
| are of the same opinion | agree |
| as to whether | whether |
| ask the question | ask |
| at a rapid rate | rapidly |
| at an earlier date | previously |
| at the age of 30 | at age 30 |
| at this point in time | now |
| by means of | by, via |
| by way of | by, via |
| chose to use | used |
| due to the fact that | because |
| in the event that/of | if |
| in close proximity to | close to |
| in order to | to |
| in excess of | more, over |
| in a similar manner | similarly |
| in light of the fact that | because, since, why |
| inasmuch as | because, since |
| in the process of | while (or delete) |
| in/with regard to/reference to | about, concerning, regarding |
| increase in size | grow |
| decrease in size | shrink |
| more often than not | usually |
| over the course of | throughout, during |
| on the occasion of | when |
| previous/prior to | before |
| subsequently | later |
| subsequent to | after |
| this is why | because, since, why |
| this shows that | thus, |
| the reason for/why | because, since, why |
| the way in which | how |
| the majority of | most |
| the time at which | when |
| the place at which | where |
4. Change zombie nouns into verbs, remove empty verbs and prepositional phrases.
Changing zombie nouns into verbs forces you back into a simpler subject-verb-object structure:
These symptoms were significantly associated with the medication dose received.
Then you can look at your main verb and make it more precise.
For example, if your main verb is impact or affect, ask yourself: "How does it impact/affect something?"
If your main verb is associate, ask yourself: "How are these things associated with each other?"
These symptoms were significantly associated with the medication dose received; in other words, the higher the dose the patients received, the more symptoms they experienced.
OR
Patients who received a higher dose of medication experienced more symptoms.
Here are common zombie nouns that can easily be changed back into verbs. Learn more about zombie nouns.
| Noun | Verb |
|---|---|
| have an impact on | impact |
| have an effect on | affect |
| bring to a conclusion | conclude |
| give consideration to | consider |
| give authorization for | authorize |
| exhibit a tendency to | tend to |
Often you will have both unnecessary words and zombie nouns together:
This method improves the quality of the data,
This method improves the quality of the data, thus increasing the signal to noise ratio.
5. Use active voice
Active voice sentences tend to be shorter than passive voice sentences. If you have no reason to use passive voice, then explore what active voice can offer you. Remember that active voice sentences do not always have to start with we.
Learn about active voice.
6. Remove redundant adjectives and adverbs.
“Most adjectives are ... unnecessary. Like adverbs, they are sprinkled into sentences by writers who don't stop to think that the concept is already in the noun.”2
If you choose a precise noun or verb, you don't need adjectives or adverbs.
Learn about adjectives and adverbs.
7. Replace long words with short words.
Long words are often used in long, noun-heavy structures, while short words are often used in short, verb-focused structures.
| Long word | Short word |
|---|---|
| subsequently | next |
| utilize | use |
| facilitate (+ noun) | help (+ verb) |
| investigation | study |
| incorporate | add |
| enumerate | list, count |
| objective | goal |
| necessary | need |
8. Remove unnecessary transitions.
Most transitions are unnecessary. For example, you can always remove "indeed", "interestingly" and "importantly". You can also remove "furthermore," "in addition," "moreover," etc. simply by adding parallelism.
9. Use plural nouns rather than singular nouns
Plural nouns usually allow you to cut the article. As an added bonus, plural nouns remove the gender.
Children with diabetes will need help managing the disease.
10. Use "than" in comparisons
Don't use "compared with", "compared to" or "in comparison with". Just use "than".
Learn to write better comparisons.
Why does conciseness matter?
The fewer words a reader has to read, the better. If you remove vague, empty, and redundant phrases, the reader will be able to see your message more easily. Choose your words carefully. Use subject-verb-object structure as much as possible. Pay attention to the topic position.
How important is it?
On a scale of 1-10, it's an 8: very important! When you reduce wordiness, you improve precision. Concise writing is directly connected to simple structures, precise verbs, and parallelism. Are you having trouble removing wordiness from your text? Ask for help!